Wedding Engagement Party

en·gage·ment
Pronunciation: in-'gAj-m&nt, en-
Function: noun
1 a : an arrangement to meet or be present at a specified time and place <a dinner engagement> b : a job or period of employment especially as a performer
2 : something that engages : PLEDGE


OK, OK, everything is perfect. The lights are nicely dimmed in the lovely restaurant in which you are now sitting. A violin is playing in the background. You are drinking a fine bottle of $30 wine. You're ready to propose to your girlfriend, who is sitting just across the table, looking at you with eyes that say "ask me to marry you, you bastard!" So all you need is to pull out the ring, show it to her, and you're off to Tahiti for a happy honeymoon.

Or are you? Where did you get that engagement ring? Did you pick out the right one? Will she like it? Will it fit her? Did you get completely ripped off?

Before we begin, remember that it's not absolutely required that a man give an engagement ring to a woman. In these modern, crazy times of ours, it's completely acceptable for a woman to give an engagement ring to a man, to exchange engagement gifts, to exchange posy rings (bands with inscriptions of love), or to get his and her matching tattoos. Really.



It has become extremely common for the woman to accompany the man in the purchase of an engagement ring. This is a great idea, because then you know she'll be happy with whatever ring she picks out. It takes all the pressure off you!
If the element of surprise is important to you, however, there are other good ways to begin your quest. For example, consider mentioning to the parents of your soon-to-be-wife that you will soon be proposing to their daughter. In the course of the conversation, you can ask what kind of ring they think she'd like. This kills two birds with one stone: you are seen as a polite, traditional young man for asking for their permission, and you get good info about what kind of ring to buy.

If you have a good reason to avoid entering into any dialogue with your future in-laws (e.g., they are bitter because you killed their dog), then talk to her female friends. If you and your girlfriend have been serious about each other for a while, then the chances are good that your she and her friends have discussed marriage, and along with it, rings. Also, women generally know more about rings than men. Sexist? Yes. True? Yes. And if you can, take her best friend with you to the jewelry store for a second opinion.

The happy couple has decided to turn their relationship into a lifetime commitment and it's time to share the good news with family and friends. It's also time to introduce the future in-laws to one another. That's why it's time to plan an engagement party to announce and celebrate the exciting event.

Traditionally this party was hosted by the parents of the bride, usually at their home. But along with other evolving changes in social etiquette, the rules for this party are no longer so hard and fast. These days anyone can host the engagement party, and in some cases the event is planned by the future groom to make the proposal to his intended bride - although I would hope he's pretty sure of the answer before he does this!

The party can be held in a home, a restaurant, or any place that captures the imagination of, or has special significance to the couple.

It might be the scene of their first date, or their favorite corner restaurant. If the couple enjoys outdoor activities together, it could be a picnic at their favorite hiking spot.

Likewise, the event can be simple or elaborate. Cake and coffee at the home of one set of the parents is fine; champagne and hors d'oeuvres at the home of a best friend is appropriate; a casual buffet at her sister's house would be great; or a sit down dinner, barbecue, or brunch hosted by the groom's parents. The rules are simple in that there aren't many!

One of the few rules is that your guests should be limited to friends and family who will be invited to the wedding. But that doesn't mean it should be the full wedding guest list. An engagement party is a more intimate affair. Also, gifts are an option at this party, and should not be expected. Do not under any circumstance put the registry information on the invitation.

If this party will serve the purpose of introducing the two families to one another, it would be a good idea to have an ice breaker or two planned to help warm things up. If not, someone who knows the majority of the guests well should be assigned the job of welcoming people to the party and making the introductions.

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